Friday, January 15, 2016

Lets (listen) about sex


As someone who constantly wants to learn, podcasts have been a godsend.  I can plug myself in, walk to school/do the dishes/clean my room/eat dinner and learn about life at the same time?!  LOVE IT.  All podcasts, of course, are not created equal.  Every so often I've tried one of those three-people-recorded-their-rambling-conversations podcasts and those are no good.  The world does not need more of those.  The world needs......... safe spaces to learn and talk about everything related to sex.

I have so many questions!  What kind of sex toys are good?  Where should I buy them from?  Where can I find erotica that isn't horribly patriarchal?  What kinds of things do I like?  How do I incorporate those insights into my relationships?  Do other people have these questions too!?  What kind of source should I trust?  Standard big mags like Cosmo?  Women's Health?  AskMen?  HELP.

So imagine my excitement when I came across this article "9 Feminist Podcasts to Stream in 2016" (because I do trust Ms. Magazine) which introduced me to the Sex Nerd Sandra podcast.  Granted, I've only listened to 2ish episodes at 1.5x speed at this point... but I LOVE IT.   There are 200+ episodes (how have I never heard of this?) and I'm literally trying to plan my day with activities that allow me to listen.

Sandra Daugherty turns sex education on its head in "Sex Nerd Sandra" with unapologetic sex tips, techniques and tales from real life. She uses her background in cultural anthropology, philosophy and broadcast journalism to explore the intimate topics of the human condition, with a nerdy twist that pushes sexual shame out the window. 
First, production is excellent.  There is a wonderful balance of personal story, friends visiting, and expert interviews. Podcast quality is really important to me and I can assure an A+.

Also wonderful is the incredible diversity.  Not only does Sandra take on a range of topics from navigating relationships to sex toys and technique, but her guests come from all walks of life.  There are sex workers and therapists and life coaches and people who identify with pretty every label you can think of.  Seriously.  Just look at the list.  

Most podcasts that I listen to advocate for two things: 1) to be self aware about whatever is going on. Whether its why you hate your job or how you aren't ready for a specific kind of relationship or why a particular person annoys the crap out of you... take some time to think about it and learn about yourself.  Then you can 2) talk about it.  Talk to your partners, your friends, your family.  Advocate for what you want and need!  

Podcasts like Sex Nerd Sandra are literally the definition of a safe space to build self awareness and explore.  I have never heard such a variety of people confidently identify with a "label" while bringing up their conflicts and struggles.  Never have I heard people talking about many of these topics ever!  A sex worker talking about how she does friends with benefits?  Didn't even occur to me that such things happened! But now I know!  Its so wonderfully joyful and open that the listener (or at least me) becomes imbibed with energy and ready to take the next small step forward.

Ms. Magazine is correct that Sex Nerd Sandra is fucking feminist.  It is an excellent source to explore sexual health/desires while advocating for balanced, healthy, consensual relationships.  I am so excited to learn more about myself, about how other people get it on, and to talk about all this with everyone.

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Other (not sex related) podcasts that I listen to and love:
1) Dear Sugar with Cheryl Strayed and Steve Almond
2) Another Round with Heben Nigatu and Tracy Clayton
3) Strangers  by Lea Thau
5) 99% Invisible (this is the podcast that started it all for me)

Happy listening beautiful people!

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