Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Professional Tips: small progress + the right tools

I've been totally swamped recently and while I have had many thoughts and articles I've wanted to write about... I am totally not ready.  However, there are a few things I have seen recently that I'd love to share!  Be sure to check out the actual articles, because there is a lot more discussion and more tips that I didn't include here.

1st) Ditch the binary thinking and start some thinking!  Any progress is progress.  Get movin.

Letting Go of “All or Nothing”

Today, I challenge you to adopt the “every little bit counts” mentality. Maybe the extent of your yoga practice today is holding child’s pose on your bed for 45 seconds. Maybe your workout is 10 quick squats while you’re waiting for your roommate to get out of the shower. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, my loves. Every little bit counts. The beautiful thing is that this mentality can actually spill into all areas of life. Maybe you’ve been avoiding calling an old friend because you can’t find time for a thorough conversation. Take 30 seconds just to say hi. Maybe your apartment has gotten out-of-control messy, and you don’t have the energy to do an in-depth clean. Set aside 10 minutes. Target one corner of one room.
Baby steps, a little at a time. Every little bit counts. With this mentality, we realize that we don’t need to fear seemingly daunting tasks. Life is all about staying balanced, and keeping the flow. As long as we’re doing something, we’re doing juuust fine.

2nd) Work on intertwining peace and balance into your relationships- Ditch the sarcasm, passive-aggressiveness, and brutal honesty. Build a "super"-you.

3 Emotional Weapons You Need to Put Down

Since we’re all works-in-progress, if you find yourself employing any of the above weapons or armor, please do not be ashamed. I assure you that we have all, out of the need to protect ourselves, meddled with unsavory powers. The point is that Super You gets bogged down by sad little tricks like these, so it’s better to learn to recognize them and then ditch them when you can. Keep your heart and mind open to the intentions of your behavior — and to the intentions behind those intentions. Keep evolving and keep shedding that cheap shit.

3) But don't play too nice: make sure you can skillfully interrupt to make better use of your time while still getting the job done!

How to Interrupt

If you want others to see you as curious and interested, you have to ask questions. And often, you have to interrupt to create space for your question—especially if your conversation partner likes to talk.
Do Interrupt:
1. When you want to ensure understanding
“Excuse me. I just want to make sure I understand. It sounds like the problem we’re trying to solve is…” 
2. To help them clarify their thinking
“I apologize for interrupting. I just want to make sure I understand. It sounds like your goal is….and your biggest concerns are…. Did I get that right? 
3. Because you’re genuinely curious
“Wait. What do you mean that you went through a dark period?” or “Hold on. How could you tell that he was bored in your meeting?” “Wow, can we take a step back. You just made a really interesting point. How did you come to that conclusion?” 
4. To facilitate a productive conversation. Sometimes, interrupting is the best way to get a conversation back and track. Meetings without skillful, facilitative interruption turn into chaotic wastes of time.
“It sounds like we’ve surfaced a topic that’s different from the meeting objective. How about the two of you continue that discussion later?”
“Excuse me. We’re running short on time and we have a few people we haven’t heard from…”
“Sorry to interrupt, but my next meeting will call in 5 minutes and I want to make sure I answer your question.”
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Lets get to work!  Hopefully the more I employ these, the more time I will have to write the longer articles that are stuck in my head.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Allowed to be Loud - Or what I've learned from Florence

In a recent instagram Between Two Books (a book club run by fans of Florence + the Machine) announced their participation in Elle Magazine UK's Elle Feminism campaign--- a promotion for their 'feminism issue' featuring Carey Mulligan of the upcoming film Suffragette.  A discussion quickly arose in the comments, with followers declaring that #FlowsForFeminism "needs to be a thing."

I am 100% behind #FlowsForFeminism.  Whether or not feminism is a conscious, central part of the project and work of Florence and Florence + the Machine, I do count Florence as one of the contemporary figures who have influenced my evolution as a feminist and a person.  Namely, she introduced to me the idea that women can be loud if they want.

Florence + the Machine's music is full of big sounds.  Florence's voice is infamous for being particularly distinctive--- big and full, declarative, "witchy,"  full of octave jumps, shrieks, howls, and endless, drawn-out notes.  Layers of choirs and drums build the dramatic songs.  All together the sounds are noisy, loud, declarative, full--- there is no hiding them, and there is no hiding from them.

Women are so often expected to be seen and not heard, to speak only when spoken to, to hold their tongues, to let things go, to suffer in silence.  If they must make themselves heard and visible, they should do it in a way that pleases others, in which they are cute, sexy, pretty, or attractive.  Listening to Florence I realized that things could be different.