Beyond the Lights shows the whole picture of the violence of commodification

I recently had the opportunity to finally watch Beyond the Lights (Thanks Netflix!).  I was excited to watch another film starring Gugu Mbatha-Raw (from Belle) and also Minnie Driver (who rocks), and by a female writer-director (Gina Prince-Bythewood), but I sadly missed it in theatres.

In brief:  Beyond the Lights follows the struggles of a young pop star, Noni, on the verge of superstardom.  The film opens as she is heading towards her chance at making it big, but as just one young woman against the "intimate psychic violence of racism and sexism" (as A.O. Scott describes it so well) that the music industry inflicts upon her, Noni finds herself standing on a balcony considering suicide.  It is only through the intervention of a young police officer that Noni decides to try to live.


The film at its simplest is a love story between Noni and Kaz (the police officer)--- and this story is frequently rather contrived and fantastical.  A.O. Scott describes it as silly in an affectionate way, but also argues that the fantasy of Noni and Kaz's relationship is part of the central project and purpose of the film.  (Read his review for more.)   However, it is important to note that while Kaz sparks Noni's move towards freedom and wholeness, as Minnie Driver explains in an interview: "Kaz saves her physically, but Noni saves herself."

Putting the romantic storyline aside what I found most moving, terrifying, powerful about the film was it's perspective on the music industry (the film arguably focuses more on the hip-hop/R&B industry in which Noni seems to operate, but I'm sure the criticism can apply to other genres as well).  First, the film forces us to witness the overpowering, in-your-face objectification that female artists are subjected to through the music videos Noni has recently released and the photoshoots she endures.  By contrasting this with the first impression we get of Noni (a talented little girl, sensitive, vulnerable and a beautiful soul with a moving voice, who loves singing and wants to make her mother proud) we get to really understand just how reductive, humiliating, sad, and violent these conditions are.  These forces are so powerful in their obliteration of the artist's self and disrespectful of their talents, it is abundantly clear how Noni is so easily chewed up and destroyed by the industry that at the same time it promises to give her everything, strips her of any dignity, safety, or support.

**SPOILERS AHEAD** 

Recovery and our Inner Warrior Goddess

The death card is one of my favorite Tarot cards. Bordered by circles of blue lifelines, the card beautifully demonstrates the concept of letting one thing go to make way for the new.  This concept is also reflected in eastern ways of thought like Feng Shui; you clear the old clutter in your home to make way for new energy and items to fill your life.  Life's cyclical nature, as represented here, always inspires hope  that new things are on their way.

But sometimes death is a b*&ch

While I am certainly glad that parts of myself and my life have died, sometimes the process of change seems eternal and excruciating.  In this past year, the death card pretty much wiped my personality down to nothing (ex. anxiety and depression) and let me sit there for while.  This gave me a chance for some introspection and to identify some of the ways we think when we get stuck in the mud:

• I am worthless (and all ten thousand permutations of this that wind around our brains).
• I just need a man, more money, the perfect job (etc) to be happy and fulfilled.  (Mostly since I am worthless and can't do it myself.)
• So and so ruined my life and since I am worthless or not in control, there is nothing I can do about it.
• I am too tired change or too used to my maladaptive ways to move onto something new.
• I lack support, knowledge or resources to make a change and often I am too tired or overwhelmed to find out who can help. 

Depending on the situation and the individual, we can be stuck here from days to months to years. Even if you haven't firsthand experienced this, I am sure you knew friend or a family member who was struggling.  It is often frustrating for everyone.  Personally, I want to shake and yell at everything.  JUST GET BETTER ALREADY.

Society too, as a whole, sends a message to those attempting renewal and often it is a message of hypermasculinity.  Yoga guru Sadie Nardini wrote an article on this topic, noting that women often "attempt to source their ability and drive from an overly masculine prototype, instead of reviving their inner feminine to do the job."  [Even I tried this tactic out!]

I don't need ___ or ____.  I don't need anyone. I got this, I can do this on my own.

The difficulty with this overtly masculine approach to rebuilding is that it is inherently isolating and cold.  While initially productive and intimidating, this energy serves to create more boundaries and separation from the community that is often so vital to recovery and a successful life.  It is a closed-ended approach with little room for discussion, expression and connection.  While our movie heroes like Wolverine certainly get the job done (with lots of exciting action scenes), they are usually devoid of personality and true friendships.  Is that what we are looking for in our new selves? In my personal experience, this masculine driving energy would get me moving and out the door... but then to where?  What was I going to do all on my own?

Thus, Sadie Nardini elaborates on the power of femininity and our inner warrior goddess.  She writes:

The end result of an integrated feminine side is completeness: full nourishment of one's life-force, passions, creativity, and relationship to Self.  This provides one with the confidence and freedom to stand up and say "I don't need anyone or anything, it's true-- but I choose to want them."  I choose love.  I choose family,  I choose these projects and I choose to keep myself close to my inner mother even as I dedicate to truth and moving toward right action, led by my inner father.

Her thoughts are equally beautiful as the death card.  The synthesis of the vulnerable, caring, more feminine sides of our being with the driven, meticulous "masculine" side creates a strong, raw, and authentic energy.  Reaching out, connecting, expressing, nurturing... these are not weakness, but are instead powerful tools we can use to live.  Often, devoting ourselves to others can pull us away from our own despair and difficulties.

Sadie concludes:

In this place, we are whole, and we are free.  We refuse to play small yet we walk with humility and openness to the world's curiosities and dead ends.  We allow our hearts to break because we dared to love with abandon, we gather our children and friends and lovers close and recognize that God can be found between our palms and the skin of our beloveds--and in our joy or grief alike, we thank the Universe for letting us love at all, even while we mourn the inevitable loss of all those we touch.
We are women, not men, and it's high time we learn what it means to rock who we are, and when in doubt, to simply become as incandescent as summer's first firefly in response. 

With this, we can move on and live.

Why I don't wear Chanel

Ok, this post is a bit of a delayed reaction.

And ok, there are probably other reasons why I don't wear Chanel. ($$$)

But as someone who is sort of a hobbyist for fashion, I got fed up with Chanel last year.

Chanel is easily one of the most recognized, respected, and classiest, highest-pinnacle brands in fashion.  It is the creme de la creme.  Chanel has demonstrated over and over again that it is able to be creative, fashionable, beautiful, classic, and contemporary yet timeless.

However, for the Spring/Summer 2015 show held in October 2014, the show concluded with a tasteless, sophomoric faux feminist protest.  Models paraded out one more time, carrying placards with meaningless phrases like "Make Fashion Not War" and "Féministe mais Feminine.”  I was shocked to see this spectacle of highly privileged bodies playacting at the struggles of oppressed and underprivileged groups for highly select audience, elitist by design and definition.  The willful ignorance, lack of sensitivity or conscience, and cold selfcenteredness (and downright display of unabashed elitism) demonstrated filled me with disgust and outrage.

Why You Should Follow the National Women's History Museum

Somehow or other I came to follow the National Women's History Museum on Facebook.  I think it is one of the best social media decisions I have ever made.

The National Women's History Museum, which currently only exists online--- they are raising funds and support in order to build a physical space--- posts regularly about numerous and diverse women throughout (mostly) American history.  I love stumbling upon these fascinating people as I scroll through my news feed.  Sometimes the women they feature come from the recent past (1970s and onward), or even from current news and events, and other times they post about women from the early years of this country.  The women come from all walks of life, races, classes, and ages.  They recently featured an 11 year-old (Samantha Reed Smith)!

Through the NWHM I have learned about women like:

• Amanda Theodosia James - who lived in the 1800s, patented several canning techniques, and owned and ran her own canning and preserving business--- that only hired women!
• Dr. Kazue Togasaki - a Japanese American doctor and one of the few physicians allowed to practice medicine during the internment of Japanese Americans during WWII
• Nannie Helen Burroughs - an African-American activist who in 1909 founded the National Training School for Women and Girls in Washington, D.C. to provide schooling for black students in the segregated south

Can it be true? Pop music celebrating healthy relationships?

I've wanted to write a post about popular music for a while, but the content eluded me.  At one point I wanted to write about alternative conceptions of female beauty in music, but could only think of Queen's Fat Bottomed Girls and Jim Croce's Roller Derby Queen.  Both songs are awesome, but not really enough to write a whole post about.

Then there was Jason Derulo's irresistible but horrid-when-you-actually-think-about-it Talk Dirty.  Oh, and let's not forget Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines.

Most recently, as I despaired over the battered woman vibe in Ariana Grande's One Last Time,  two new songs on the pop hits station (or whatever you call what Ryan Seacrest is on) blew my mind.

OMI - Cheerleader

Andy Grammer - Honey I'm Good

Given how tuned into popular culture I am, I'm probably the last person around to have found these songs.  Nevertheless, I think they are deceptively revolutionary.  With catchy, fun music, both songs deliver messages we don't often hear on the radio.

How often have we heard the equivalent of "Baby baby [insert phrase to indicate interest in sex]" or "baby baby I'm so in love with you", but actually this song is about me?  Instead of these overused but still too common themes, both songs say "Thanks but no thanks, I already have an amazing person in my life."  The singers (both male) are saying, it's not about me, its about my amazing partner.  Sitting in my car, I couldn't believe it as these songs came across the radio.

And the music videos!  Couples of all shapes, sizes, ages, locations, relationship types, and relationship lengths are demonstrating their pride and joy at being together!  Maybe there is such a thing as progress.