Monday, January 25, 2016

I was excited about The Force Awakens but I'm not grateful for it. (Possible minor spoiler.)

Eddie: Christ, I like a drink, but I ain't out on the beer every night or screwin' other women, or... 'Ere, I've never once raised me hand to you. Ever. Or the kids.
Rita: Christ.
Eddie: What? Why are you looking like that?
Rita: Right. You're a saint now, is that what you're tellin' me, Eddie? You're a bleedin' saint? 'Cause you give us an even break?
Eddie: What are you saying?
Rita: That is as it should be. Jesus, Eddie! What do you think this strike's all been about, eh? Oh yeah. Actually you're right. You don't go on the drink, do ya? You don't gamble, you join in with the kids, you don't knock us about. Oh, lucky me. For Christ's sake, Eddie, that's as it should be! You try and understand that. Rights, not privileges. It's that easy. It really bloody is. - quote from Made in Dagenham
Ever since the cast was announced, everyone has been talking about gender representation in the new Star Wars reboot.  A mysterious, unknown actress was cast as a main character.  (A mysterious, unknown black actor was cast as another main character.)  It looked like Star Wars was making way for a new era of equal gender representation and diversity in Hollywood.  And I hope it is.

However, partially because I wasn't holding my breath for this movie to solve all of Hollywood sexism issues, and because while I like Star Wars and loved Luke, Han and Leia as a kid I am not a hardcore fanboy and I didn't want to have to view the movie with a bunch of guys drooling over the effects and/or debating the accuracy to the lore, I waited to see the movie until a few weeks after the release date.  Consequently, I had to listen to many enthusiastic fanboys extolling the virtues of the film and encouraging me to go see it.

One reason they kept sighting as a reason I in particular would like the film was that "it was very feminist" and there was a lot of gender equality.  Perhaps foolishly, I got very excited about this claim, and consequently I got my hopes up much too high.  (Also, perhaps we must acknowledge that an average man's benchmark for something being 'very' progressive along gender equality lines may be somewhat lower than my own.)

After seeing the movie, which I enjoyed for several reasons-- one of which certainly being the new female co-protagonist--- I playfully chided the fanboys in my immediate network for having gotten my expectations for gender equality up a little too high.

You would have thought I had deeply insulted these guys' by the explosion of outrage that followed.  These guys couldn't believe their ears!  One guy kept repeating over and over and over again as if in a state of shock "How could you say that!  The main character is a women! The main character is a women!"  I had to keep emphasizing that I hadn't said there was no progress in terms of gender representation, and that I hadn't said that the movie was sexist garbage.  Another point that was made was that "It was science fiction" so it didn't have to have gender equity--- when I noted that with this logic, the movie could have been mostly female characters, these gentlemen denounced that idea as "domineering."

We didn't really have a chance to have a nuanced conversation about it, as the discussion descended into a shouty mess but if I had I would have pointed out that out of the roughly 12 principle characters of the film (if we ignore the robots), only 4 of them were female.  Also the film barely (and arguably) passes the Bechdel test--- boiling down to whether or not a discussion about Rey's visions of Luke are about Rey herself (or rather Luke), and to whether or not hugging counts as 'talking to each other.'  While there were definitely more women in the background as extras, very few of the small roles with 1-3 speaking lines were women.  A scene that stood out to me in particular was a scene in which the Resistance formulates its battle plan--- while many women stood around listening, none of them contributed to the discussion.  (Part of the reason for this is because Abrams filled most of these roles with actor buddies of his; apparently he doesn't have any actress buddies.)  This also bothered me because often small speaking roles pay more than background extra work--- meaning that even before considering the pay gap, male actors were much more likely to be paid more than female actresses on this film simply due to these gendering/casting choices.

But I think the thing that upset me the most about this conversation (and also much of discussions around gender and race in the film) is this idea that we (as female viewers) should be happy with what we have been given.

I am not going to be grateful for something being fair and right.

Am I glad that Star Wars has chosen to include more women in its universe, and hopefully more moving forward?  Yes, absolutely!  But I am not going to cite it as a paragon of gender representation.  Especially not when things like Jennifer Jones or Battlestar Galactica exist.  Just because something has taken a step in the right direction, doesn't mean we have made the whole journey and we should stop there.  There is still a distance to go! 

I object to an attitude that because a big Hollywood film has thrown women a bone, our hunger should be sated and we should be quiet.  It is not up to the patriarchal system to decide when it has achieved equity, it is up to us.  We don't have to just take what we are given--- and then sit down and shut up so the men can enjoy their slightly-less male dominated universes in peace.

Let's not award things for being average.

In thinking about this, I was constantly reminded of a scene in Made in Dagenham--- a true-story film about a group of female workers who go on strike due to unfair wages.  After many days of the strike putting pressure on the workers families, the main character Rita has an argument with her husband (quoted above, and who I should note is a pretty good guy) in which he complains that she should basically do what he wants (break the strike) because after all she has life pretty good--- he doesn't beat her or their kids, spend all their money on alcohol, or cheat on her, like other guys in their community might.  Rita is outraged by this and informs him that he doesn't get a special prize for being a decent human being.  "That's as it should be." she shouts at him.  And that's what I want to shout at people extolling the virtues of The Force Awakens because it has a few women in its principle cast.  That's as it should be!  The fact that this is some sort of feat of heroism just shows how messed up our media is!

The Force Awakens has done some helpful work in tipping the scale back towards gender equality (although its not a 50/50 balance).  But I don't believe in showering accolades upon something that is doing the bare minimum.  

Let's not get carried away in the general frenzy around Star War, and in the relief of women finally being acknowledged or included.  Just like when the internet praised Dustin Hoffman gratuitously, when he finally realized basically a bit of what it is like to be a human woman and how shitty they get treated.  I'm glad he shared his experience, because he was probably able to reach a lot more people and help them understand the challenge of being a woman and problems in our society, but at the same time I don't think he needs to get a Feminist of the Year Award for this.  (Here is Amy Poehler helping another man achieve such enlightenment as well.)



By going overboard with praise and awards for things that are only creeping towards parity, we are in some ways lowering the bar for what progress can be and what excellence is.  We are also setting up an expectation that even the slightest move towards inclusion of women and non-whites is some sort of huge achievement or concession even.  We can do better, and it's important to know that we can do better.

We can love media and be critical of it at the same time.

To quote Feminist Frequency, it is possible to enjoy and care about a film and still see it's flaws.  I was frustrated that these men I was discussing Star Wars were so unable to engage with the Star Wars storylines or politics or cultural relevancy in any way other than in zealous binaries--- especially when they are able to discuss the minute details of the effects and the self-referential moments.

Either I loved the movie or I hated it.  Either I was with them, or I was against them.  Either I thought Star Wars was AWESOME or I thought it was trash that should be thrown out the window.  I was angry to find myself being forced into a box that I had no hand in creating with words being put in my mouth, and being forced to participate in a reductive, binary system so typical of the patriarchy.

There were other things about the film that I definitely enjoyed and I'm looking forward to seeing what the subsequent films have in store (hopefully more great female and racially diverse characters!).  But because I had an unrealistic expectation of gender equality in the film (50/50) but instead saw something that was more (30/70), I had found myself disappointed that more work hadn't been done in this regard.

However, Feminist Frequency makes a good point that it's very important for such a huge, popular franchise to be making such conscious and conspicuous effort to be more inclusive because this can be just the thing to spur other Hollywood filmmakers, studios, and franchises to also move in this direction and to help them understand that gender equality sells!  Also, because Star Wars is a global phenomenon, this effect might be felt globally.

Keep up the good work Star Wars!  Let's keep moving until inclusion on screen is as it should be.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Museum Exhibits and Our Grandmothers' Rights

Many people waiting in line to see the nation's founding documents at the National Archives building in Washington D.C.  miss the Archives' amazing museum exhibits located below the famous rotunda (of National Treasure fame).  A few months back I went to see "Spirited Republic: Alcohol in American History" and in the process also saw "Records of Rights."  I will admit this latter exhibition was much more interesting.  As the exhibit website explains:
The rights and freedoms embodied in the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights did not initially apply to all Americans. Martin Luther King, Jr. described them as "a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir." For generations, various groups have struggled to "cash that check." "Records of Rights" showcases documents from the holdings of the National Archives to illustrate how Americans have endeavored to define, secure, and protect their rights.
While the exhibition is billed in a positive light -- questing for equal rights -- it mostly made me depressed.  The well-curated exhibit did an excellent job demonstrating how we've denied rights to a sobering list of groups throughout our nation's history: Blacks, Native Peoples, Women, Immigrants, the LGBT community.  In short, we've been nasty to a lot of people and in many ways still are.

I was perhaps most surprised by the women's section: Remembering the Ladies.  As a writer for this most excellent feminist blog, I though I was tolerably well educated in the American woman's struggle.  Well, I was wrong.

For example, did you know that until the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, financial institutions could deny women credit unless they had their husbands' permission?  Our grandmothers were denied credit cards and loans unless our grandfathers gave them permission slips.  My brain has struggled with this concept ever since I left the exhibit.  I had also never heard of the Equal Rights Amendment. Apparently my knowledge of landmark 1970's legislation is embarrassingly thin.

Thanks to this excellent exhibit, I want to learn more about the realities my grandmothers faced and hopefully bridge the experience gap between our generation and theirs.  This interest has only deepened as I've heard Gloria Steinem bring this material back into the public consciousness on her recent book tour.

As far as I can tell, Records of Rights is a permanent (and free) exhibit and I definitely recommend a visit if you are ever in the District.  In the meant time they also have an excellent interactive website that's worth a look.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Lets (listen) about sex


As someone who constantly wants to learn, podcasts have been a godsend.  I can plug myself in, walk to school/do the dishes/clean my room/eat dinner and learn about life at the same time?!  LOVE IT.  All podcasts, of course, are not created equal.  Every so often I've tried one of those three-people-recorded-their-rambling-conversations podcasts and those are no good.  The world does not need more of those.  The world needs......... safe spaces to learn and talk about everything related to sex.

I have so many questions!  What kind of sex toys are good?  Where should I buy them from?  Where can I find erotica that isn't horribly patriarchal?  What kinds of things do I like?  How do I incorporate those insights into my relationships?  Do other people have these questions too!?  What kind of source should I trust?  Standard big mags like Cosmo?  Women's Health?  AskMen?  HELP.

So imagine my excitement when I came across this article "9 Feminist Podcasts to Stream in 2016" (because I do trust Ms. Magazine) which introduced me to the Sex Nerd Sandra podcast.  Granted, I've only listened to 2ish episodes at 1.5x speed at this point... but I LOVE IT.   There are 200+ episodes (how have I never heard of this?) and I'm literally trying to plan my day with activities that allow me to listen.

Sandra Daugherty turns sex education on its head in "Sex Nerd Sandra" with unapologetic sex tips, techniques and tales from real life. She uses her background in cultural anthropology, philosophy and broadcast journalism to explore the intimate topics of the human condition, with a nerdy twist that pushes sexual shame out the window. 
First, production is excellent.  There is a wonderful balance of personal story, friends visiting, and expert interviews. Podcast quality is really important to me and I can assure an A+.

Also wonderful is the incredible diversity.  Not only does Sandra take on a range of topics from navigating relationships to sex toys and technique, but her guests come from all walks of life.  There are sex workers and therapists and life coaches and people who identify with pretty every label you can think of.  Seriously.  Just look at the list.  

Most podcasts that I listen to advocate for two things: 1) to be self aware about whatever is going on. Whether its why you hate your job or how you aren't ready for a specific kind of relationship or why a particular person annoys the crap out of you... take some time to think about it and learn about yourself.  Then you can 2) talk about it.  Talk to your partners, your friends, your family.  Advocate for what you want and need!  

Podcasts like Sex Nerd Sandra are literally the definition of a safe space to build self awareness and explore.  I have never heard such a variety of people confidently identify with a "label" while bringing up their conflicts and struggles.  Never have I heard people talking about many of these topics ever!  A sex worker talking about how she does friends with benefits?  Didn't even occur to me that such things happened! But now I know!  Its so wonderfully joyful and open that the listener (or at least me) becomes imbibed with energy and ready to take the next small step forward.

Ms. Magazine is correct that Sex Nerd Sandra is fucking feminist.  It is an excellent source to explore sexual health/desires while advocating for balanced, healthy, consensual relationships.  I am so excited to learn more about myself, about how other people get it on, and to talk about all this with everyone.

--


Other (not sex related) podcasts that I listen to and love:
1) Dear Sugar with Cheryl Strayed and Steve Almond
2) Another Round with Heben Nigatu and Tracy Clayton
3) Strangers  by Lea Thau
5) 99% Invisible (this is the podcast that started it all for me)

Happy listening beautiful people!

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Two Years Dropping Out

You might not have noticed, but October marked the second anniversary of our Dropout Drop-In blog!  It’s hard to believe two whole years have passed since L started us off, but on the other hand, it’s amazing how much ground we’ve covered since then.

As of this writing, our humble little experiment boasts more than 100 posts covering an impressive range of topics.  At the very least, the blog has offered a place where we’ve wrestled with what it means to be a woman in today’s society and how we, as individuals, handle the various challenges womanhood presents in that society.  We have shared many personal accounts of triumphs and disappointments, and I believe, have helped each other think critically about our own experiences.

In addition, while this blogging experience has made me more aware of women’s issues in the media, the workplace, and the world, I think L had amazing foresight when starting this blog.  In the two short years since we began, many women’s’ issues have exploded into the public consciousness.  We’ve seen Gamergate and renewed debates regarding online harassment.  Sports stars violently thrust domestic violence into the media.  Influential works by Sheryl Sandberg and Anne Marie Slaughter have wrestled with workplace issues.  Topics from gender identity to children’s toys have seen their discourses transformed.  The Women’s Studies Drop Out Drop-In has given us a place to grapple with these topics and work out where we stand.

Looking to the future, this blog remains a valuable place for us to explore what feminism means for our  lives.  I look forward to sharing many more thoughts with you and hope to be challenged by yours in return.  Here’s to another fruitful year dropping out!