If you're promoting changes to women's behavior to "prevent" rape, you're really saying "make sure he rapes the other girl".
I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages.Yeah, basically.I… fuck.THIS.I have never thought about it in this context
that’s actually really, really creepy.
There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.
In discussions about rape, you hear "victim-blaming." Somehow, all her decisions and actions led to her being violently assaulted and violated.
When getting ready, she put on a revealing skirt = she knew that she was going to HAVE to have sex that night.
She talked to a man = she knew that she was going to HAVE to have sex that night.
She left her house to go to a party = she knew that she was going to HAVE to have sex that night.
Sounds ridiculous. But if she had not gone to the party, she would not being in such a precarious situation. DO NOT GO OUTSIDE. You might lead a man on. Valid rape-prevention advice. From this point of view, the responsibility lies on the victim. If he/she does not exhibit such behaviors, no negative result will occur. If the capybara stays still enough not to be noticed by the jaguar, he/she will survive!
Author's note: Apologies for the wild analogy, but I happened to have watched a special about jaguars and capybaras. If you are unsure of what a capybara is:
Author's note: Apologies for the wild analogy, but I happened to have watched a special about jaguars and capybaras. If you are unsure of what a capybara is:
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| Victims whose actions did not cause the jaguar to eat them. It is the jaguar's fault that they were eaten. |
The statement provided at the top is a perspective, I will admit, that I never considered. I could be a very conscientious capybara and enhance my own longevity, but my actions will do nothing to ensure the safety of my fellow friends and peers. The jaguar remains hungry and will feast on someone else.
What is great about this analogy is that it falls apart with my last sentence. Men do not have an insatiable desire to violate women. Men do have self control and bounded sexual desire. Men do not need sex to survive. A woman's safety and dignity is not the survival of the fittest. Rape prevention is not about feeding the jaguars the weakest and least secure capybaras. The ones might have been abused, bullied, ignored, or in the wrong place at the wrong time.
This analogy is currently blowing my mind. I am imagining a group of capybaras throwing one of their own to the edge... You shouldn't have dyed your fur! You made him hungry!
Clearly, the change begins by limiting the concept that rape is okay, an unfortunate event that happens to some of us. Rape should be viewed as an horrendous, disgusting, unforgivable act, terms that should also be attached to it's perpetrators. It is not the victim's job to make sure they are not raped. The ones responsible are those of us who ignore the misconduct of the attackers! (And the perpetrators that have no respect for human dignity.)
Last time I checked, we do not live in the South American jungle.
Also note: I have used men/women in only one situation, but men/women can be raped or rape other people. Any combination is equally horrendous.
This is very interesting and disturbing in more than one way. I had the same reaction you did after reading the “make sure he rapes the other girl” translation. I thought, wow, I don’t want to live in a society that thinks that approach is okay.
ReplyDeleteThen as I read your capybara analogy, it made me think a bit more. It seems that two (or more) responses to that statement exist:
1) Our society does not accept predators and therefore we will actively select against them. As humans, not “animals,” we band together to prevent predators (as defined by the society) from harming our families and allies. This seems to be a more “human” response, asserting that by working collectively and tailoring our environment, we will survive better. In this scenario, perhaps the capybaras all get together to defend against/harass the jaguars until they die off or go live somewhere else. I don’t think capybaras do this, but it is a strategy some species use (us included I think).
2) Our society accepts the existence of predators and individuals must protect themselves as best they can. This is perhaps a more “survival of the fittest” (individual) approach. Life is tough, don’t expect to be protected from everything. Having not seen the capybara documentary, I’d guess they live in something more like this environment. While they’re not throwing their fellow capybaras off a cliff for “radical” fur choices, if a capybara walks in front of a jaguar and spends 10 minutes getting a drink, I doubt the others will come it its rescue. [Note: Just to be clear, I’m not saying this is analogous to revealing clothes and rape. But someone might say that . . .]
Biologically speaking, both responses are valid, but as a society we must decide which we subscribe to. In the end it’s a debate about what we want our society to be like. The women’s movement would tend toward the first, while perhaps the more conservative community might support the second. We should present this choice to people, but we might need to find ways to respond when people decide that option 2 is perfectly acceptable. You say “we do not live in the South American jungle” and I tend to agree. But others (hopefully a minority) might not.