Opinion: Inspired by “Talking About Bias & Speaking While Female”

I want to thank TwoEsforMee for her recent post: “Talking About Bias; Speaking While Female.”  It made me think harder about many things we have discussed here on the blog and I want to offer a longer comment before all these thoughts evaporate. 

The Sandberg Paradox

It is easy to pick on Sheryl Sandberg because she is putting herself and her ideas out into the world, but I think her efforts are slowly proving the futility of her perspective.   When I reviewed Lean In early in our blog’s development, I highlighted two somewhat divergent approaches to the "women in the workplace" issue: the institutional perspective and the leadership perspective.  The institutional perspective focuses on systemic barriers like sexism, inadequate childcare and/or maternity leave, inflexible scheduling, etc.  In contrast, the leadership perspective focuses on what individual professional women can do to improve their career prospects.  Sandberg acknowledges the institutional perspective but generally operates under the leadership perspective.

Unfortunately, the leadership perspective is not holding up well in practice.  Sandberg seems to eat her words more and more as time passes.  As TwoEsforMee noted in her post, one of the main calls to arms in the Lean In movement, discussing discrimination, appears to be backfiring, or at least requiring heavy qualifications.  Similarly, many women’s personal experiences (including my own) illustrate the entrenched barriers in women’s workplace environments.  Even Lean In seemed to contradict itself, with chapters alternately telling women to a) stand up for themselves but b) not making too much fuss in case someone thinks they are bitchy.

The more Sandberg champions the leadership perspective, the more the outcomes seem to support the institutional perspective.  It is nearly impossible to walk the tightrope (leadership perspective), when the weather is terrible and everyone around you thinks you should not be walking in the first place (institutional perspective).

The Leadership Perspective as a Distraction?

Given the leadership perspective's apparent ineffectiveness, why does it persist?   Because we want it to be true.  

We want to believe that with the right suit, resume format, business speak, and hard work we too can overcome adversity and become the next woman leader.  This delusion is not limited to the women's community.  Upward mobility had stagnated for many groups and self-help books are as popular as ever.  But I believe we are doing ourselves a disservice when we persist in asking powerful women like Sheryl Sandberg, Hillary Clinton, and Oprah their secrets for success.  Lean In is full of typical answers about assertiveness and communication skills, but all this seems shockingly incomplete and ultimately insufficient.  None of it would have helped in my sexist project experience, nor will it do much for TwoE'sforMe as she tries to navigate the patriarchal world of medicine.

In the end, the real answer seems to be locate a supportive environment.  In Sandberg's case, the supportive environment came from good workplaces, mentors, and life partners.  Others have succeeded after building their own supportive environments (see L's review posts of #GIRLBOSS). Either way, this is unambiguously an institutional perspective solution dressed up to look like leadership in hindsight.  

Finding or developing a supportive environment is not easy by any means, but it is much more likely to pay off than fretting over your communication strategies.  It does involve personal initiative, but initiative that focuses on your needs (not someone else's "role model" path) and your environment, rather than viewing your situation as some personal leadership failure.  

The institutional or work-environment approach also broadens the range of potential allies.  Everyone benefits from inclusive and supportive environments: families, racial minorities, the disabled, women, the LGBT community . . . the list could go on for a while.  Even the "corporate" interests would benefit from greater worker morale and productivity.  Feminist issues move from being "women's" issues to being workplace issues with a broad coalition of support.

So I applaud Sheryl Sandberg for her efforts, but I worry that they represent a distraction from practical realities and effective initiative.  I for one will focus on finding or building a supportive work environment for myself in the future.

Article Hit List: Depictions of Women in the Media

My brain is on vacation this month so here are a few stories that caught my eye over the past few months.  They're all loosely related to depictions of women in the media.

A. Entrepreneur Barbie

Mattel recently unveiled "Entrepreneur Barbie," described as follows:

"Entering the entrepreneurial world, this independent professional is ready for the next big pitch. Barbie Entrepreneur doll wears a sophisticated dress in signature pink that features modern color blocking and a sleek silhouette. Her "smartphone," tablet and briefcase are always by her side. And luxe details, like a glam necklace, cool clutch and elegant hairstyle, are awesome extras for a smart, stylish career woman. Includes dressed-for-business Barbie doll and stylish accessories: clutch, briefcase, tablet, and smartphone."

This just looks like a professional woman to me, but apparently children need a doll to believe they can be professional women. . .

B. Empowering Stock Images

Lean In: A Mini Review

Since TwoEsforMee started us off with Sheryl Sandberg and her Lean In campaign, and I just finished the Lean In audiobook, I thought I'd use my first post as a mini book review/commentary.

Final verdict: Important message but flawed vehicle. 

Lean In: Women, Work,and the Will to Lead

by Sheryl Sandberg

Published: 2013

Audiobook read by Eliza Donovan

As the author describes early in her book, there are two broad approaches to the women in the workplace issue.  I will call them the institutional perspective and the leadership perspective.  The institutional perspective tends to highlight the systemic barriers facing women: sexism, inadequate childcare and/or maternity leave, inflexible scheduling, etc.  For a recent paper from this perspective, see Anne-Marie Slaughter's "Why Women Still Can't Have It All" in the July/August 2012 issue of The Atlantic magazine.

Sandberg acknowledges this approach but focuses on the leadership perspective.  Based on her personal experience she writes from the perspective that little will change unless women are in positions to make those changes.  While our society and institutions don't support us yet, we shouldn't just give up.  With this in mind, she offers strategies to work through difficulties and reach leadership positions in our careers. 

Here are some of the main points:

• There are many behaviors women employ that can sabotage their journeys: keeping a low profile (sit at the table), avoiding risk (what would you do if you weren't afraid), passing on opportunities based on very long-term plans (don't leave before you leave).
• There are communication strategies that can help navigate the sometimes-hostile professional world.
• Life partners can and should be life partners, especially with housework, childcare, etc.
• We have unrealistic expectations for motherhood, housekeeping, and career perfection.
• We should be able to talk about women's issues.

While these points are valuable, I will admit to being disappointed with the work.  Part of this comes from the my own bias and the audio version probably offered a different experience than reading the book myself.  For example, the reader they chose for the audiobook sounded very cutesy, so I had a hard time taking the content seriously (sexism 1, feminism 0).  I also reacted badly to a women sounding pushy and touting herself, which was one of her points about society's reaction to women in leadership . . . embarrassing but lesson learned.

Despite these problems on my part, I still think the book has flaws.  It offers an introduction to many of the issues facing women in the workplace, but the book's organization is haphazard and its content thin in many respects.  Too many anecdotes and not enough research for my taste.   The author would have done better to condense her material into a strong article or to collect more research to strengthen the book's content.  Sandberg's message-- you can do it, don't give up -- is very important (I was quite depressed after reading Anne-Marie Slaughter's article) but her book is a bit of a mess.

Looking forward to your hate mail, I mean your thoughtful discussion . . .

Morghan

#NotAfraid

Recently,I was reading through my roommate’s Cosmo (not everyone’s favorite magazine, I know), and I came across a little piece about Sheryl Sandberg and her company LeanIn.  I’m still not quite sure what her company is because I was too lazy to read the article, but I AM really intrigued by their “Not Afraid” Campaign.
 
Featured on http://ifuwerentafraid.tumblr.com is their definition (excerpt shown here) and an introductory video:
 

Women, in particular, hold themselves back by fear of the unknown: fear of failure, fear of speaking up, fear of being judged.
Why do we harbor so much fear? Why, as we enter the workforce in droves, as we graduate with higher GPAs, as we flourish in so many parts of our lives, are we so afraid?
Part of leaning in is about overcoming our fears to pursue our ambitions — whatever those may be. This blog is about putting those fears out there.  It’s about saying them out loud and sharing them with others. It’s about holding them up on a sign — and then challenging ourselves to overcome them.
We hope the women on this blog will inspire you to ask yourself, ‘What would I do if I weren’t afraid?’ And then to go and do it.

Some women’s posts fall into the career category:
"I want to be able to stay focused enough to accomplish my goals no matter how challenging they may be or how long they will take to reach. I want to be able to feel like I am worthy enough to choose a profession like Clinical Pharmacy and not let the voices of my past belittle my ambitions."
 
Or letting their personality show:
Tiffany: “If I weren’t afraid, I would ask more questions and speak up.”
 
Or work towards crossing those things off their bucket list:
Jessica, : “I would travel the world.”
 
After scrolling through many of the pictures, I feel inspired.  Not only are these women defining (and publishing) their fears, they are on their way to defeating them! However, the question that rises to my mind is:
 
Who and what am I afraid of? What are we women battling against?
 
I have come up with three groups: society, our peers and ourselves.  As mentioned in the video, gender differences start early.  Young male boys are named “leaders,” while young females are considered “bossy” when completing the same behaviors.  Society defines our gender roles and the limits of each sex. The beauty of this initiative is that women are defying these limits.  Society may say women are inferior, but I am going to start my own business or  I am going to ask for equal pay.  They can lead the way for other women to follow.
 
However, other women portray a different aspect of the equation, their greatest fear being themselves.  One woman writes about her decision to finally return to her natural, unprocessed hair.  Now that she has faced herself and the realities of her identity, she explains that she has come to love it! That fear of failure or change can stem from deep within; these women have come to confront it, they are no longer dominated by their own self limitations or doubts!
 
The last component is our peers.  We are often afraid of other people’s perceptions of us.  Did Tiffany (mentioned above) avoid speaking up because she was afraid other people would think she was bossy or too aggressive?  Did another blogger hide her successes because she was afraid of her friend’s jealousy?  I think an important take-away message from the blog is not only to embrace yourself, defy silly societal rules, but also to give a big thumbs up to that girl you see facing her fears!  Instead of judging Tiffany for speaking up about mismanagement, give her a high five!  Tell the woman with her “new,” all-natural hair that she is rockin’ it!
 
One woman in the video said this about facing her fears, “ Its scary, but I think I am going to be okay.”
 
Imagine how “okay” it will be when you are #notafraid and all your friends are there supporting you too.

-TwoEsforMee