Not too long ago, I was happily eating a cookie when a man
informed me that I was allowed to eat cookies only because I went to the gym
often. I immediately went in for a second cookie simply out of spite. Although
our exchange was both short and final, it made me think about how body-shaming
is sometimes perceived as acceptable. Despite the rise of eating disorders in
men, body-shaming is still largely a female phenomenon. For hundreds of years,
society has been indoctrinated on how women should look and has been taught to
see women as objects. If a woman is perceived as an object, she can be scrutinized
and told how she has been found lacking at any moment.
The underlying meaning of the cookie comment was evident: “If
you don’t go to the gym but continue to eat a single cookie on occasion, you
will become gargantuan and will therefore be considered hideous.” I believe
that being healthy is an important goal for which to strive, but his comment
was not about being healthy at all – it was about being small enough to be
accepted. That he felt comfortable passing judgment on my eating choices and
consequently, my body, is concerning to say the least.
It seems as if we have come so far in terms of gender
equality but then we get these glaring reminders that we still must constantly
assert our “human-ness”. The only way in which body-shaming a woman in public
becomes acceptable is when that woman is – or women in general are – considered
objects. Some consider the male gaze / female object dichotomy antiquated and
best suited for academic discussions centered on 19th-century studies.
However, this dichotomy unfortunately continues to be the norm. There are rare
cases where these roles are reversed and the affect is often either shocking or
humorous – both being reactions that highlight the undeniability of the
female-as-object. I would not hesitate to make a comment about whether a table
or a chair is well-designed. In that same way, much of society has no qualms
notifying a woman about whether she is well-designed and when flawed, how she
must go about fixing herself.
Do we continue to make progress on this front or have people
become complacent? I believe that there is a long way to go before this issue
is solved and I do not see if being addressed as often as it should be. The
media is supersaturated with images of women-as-objects and the media is a
source – either consciously or unconsciously – that educates people. We are
bombarded on a daily basis with images of objectified women and with verbal
constructions that place women at a disadvantage. Through the media, we see
ourselves as objects and being treated as such. It is no wonder that so many
are resigned to this role and have given up trying to seek change.*
I do not think anyone should be made to feel guilty or
self-conscious when they eat. I am outraged when I am made to feel that way and
disappointed in myself for succumbing to that pressure and that gaze.
I would like to end this post with this video about women in
2013:
Have we really gotten that far?
* I admit that I place myself in a tricky position when
addressing this topic. As a representational artist, I have been trained to see
people as objects and therefore, often find myself studying humans as I would a
piece of furniture or a flower-arrangement. However, I am aware of this
objectification and am trying to address it in my artwork. I mention this as
full-disclosure so I do not seem the hypocrite.
I am rather appalled that some one had the audacity to make such a comment to you. I feel like this in itself answers your final question. Such person felt comfortable enough in his beliefs and society's values that he could go and verbally/publicly pass judgement on you. We have not gone very far at all.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what I would say if someone said that to me!
I feel slightly guilty about this because in an effort to be healthier, I often tell myself that I can't indulge unless I go to the gym. I consider it more motivation than anything else. I would never say this to another person though and the fact that someone did this to you is awful!
ReplyDeleteI will admit to judging people's food choices from time to time. But the more I read, the more I realize we have no idea how our physiology works nor how it reacts to whatever we consider to be "food" these days. So who am I to say what's healthy or beautiful? Health is a very personal thing in the end, so its too bad that our society accepts all these social pressures. I blame advertising and I guess by extension our capitalist/materialist way of life. You can't sell things if people are healthy and happy with themselves. . .
ReplyDeleteI think that shaming is a terrible technique to use to get some to change their behavior--- whether they need to change or not. It does not promote healthy or positive behavioral change.
ReplyDeleteI think body snarking is a big problem that people don't realize is a big problem. Body snarking seems like a really casual, low-stakes, often female (though not always) pastime. However, is a really poisonous behavior that inherent supports the oppression and objectification of women (for male pleasure usually), but it is really hard to stamp out because it seems like such a trivial thing and is such a sneaky, systemic part of our culture and even female-group dynamics. I DO think that in the past couple of years there has a been a little bit of an improvement in women holding each other accountable for body snarking and making sure people are making intelligent criticism (on fashion, health, art, public image etc. where like HC says, walking that line is more challenging) versus just hating on someone's appearance for not fitting some sort of desired or accepted ideal. I have seen this a lot on feminist/progressive websites like jezebel or Bullett magazine. Not sure that is has trickled out to other platform yet but that's something.
Relating to your connections with art, sometimes I find art to be an antidote to our modern obsession with one body type. Looking at art through the ages, almost every body type has been depicted with beauty and dignity. It kinda refreshing. :)
ReplyDeleteI came across this today that connects to this discussion. (The text of the article is not that great, but the 90sec segment is interesting). http://www.freep.com/article/20131229/FEATURES08/312290030/Wayne-State-student-fights-fat-shaming
ReplyDeleteShe brings up an interesting idea that "There are so many people that aren't allowed to be visible . . . or acknowledge that they have the right to be seen."