Why You Should Follow the National Women's History Museum

Somehow or other I came to follow the National Women's History Museum on Facebook.  I think it is one of the best social media decisions I have ever made.

The National Women's History Museum, which currently only exists online--- they are raising funds and support in order to build a physical space--- posts regularly about numerous and diverse women throughout (mostly) American history.  I love stumbling upon these fascinating people as I scroll through my news feed.  Sometimes the women they feature come from the recent past (1970s and onward), or even from current news and events, and other times they post about women from the early years of this country.  The women come from all walks of life, races, classes, and ages.  They recently featured an 11 year-old (Samantha Reed Smith)!

Through the NWHM I have learned about women like:

• Amanda Theodosia James - who lived in the 1800s, patented several canning techniques, and owned and ran her own canning and preserving business--- that only hired women!
• Dr. Kazue Togasaki - a Japanese American doctor and one of the few physicians allowed to practice medicine during the internment of Japanese Americans during WWII
• Nannie Helen Burroughs - an African-American activist who in 1909 founded the National Training School for Women and Girls in Washington, D.C. to provide schooling for black students in the segregated south

Can it be true? Pop music celebrating healthy relationships?

I've wanted to write a post about popular music for a while, but the content eluded me.  At one point I wanted to write about alternative conceptions of female beauty in music, but could only think of Queen's Fat Bottomed Girls and Jim Croce's Roller Derby Queen.  Both songs are awesome, but not really enough to write a whole post about.

Then there was Jason Derulo's irresistible but horrid-when-you-actually-think-about-it Talk Dirty.  Oh, and let's not forget Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines.

Most recently, as I despaired over the battered woman vibe in Ariana Grande's One Last Time,  two new songs on the pop hits station (or whatever you call what Ryan Seacrest is on) blew my mind.

OMI - Cheerleader

Andy Grammer - Honey I'm Good

Given how tuned into popular culture I am, I'm probably the last person around to have found these songs.  Nevertheless, I think they are deceptively revolutionary.  With catchy, fun music, both songs deliver messages we don't often hear on the radio.

How often have we heard the equivalent of "Baby baby [insert phrase to indicate interest in sex]" or "baby baby I'm so in love with you", but actually this song is about me?  Instead of these overused but still too common themes, both songs say "Thanks but no thanks, I already have an amazing person in my life."  The singers (both male) are saying, it's not about me, its about my amazing partner.  Sitting in my car, I couldn't believe it as these songs came across the radio.

And the music videos!  Couples of all shapes, sizes, ages, locations, relationship types, and relationship lengths are demonstrating their pride and joy at being together!  Maybe there is such a thing as progress.

A Feminist Abroad: On Gaining Perspective

In my last post, I discussed my overall feelings regarding my solo trip to New Zealand this past December. While I’ve been meaning to write the follow-up post for weeks, I’m just now finding the time to do so. It’s also a great time for me to write about one of my favorite parts of my trip: gaining alternative perspectives. I’ll apologize for the length of it now.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been frustrated with my brain. It’s something I can never escape. I can never turn it off. I can only see and experience life the way my brain allows me to do it. Going to New Zealand was not only a great opportunity for me to grow as a person, but to also talk with people, and get an idea of what life looks like through the eyes of someone else. What their daily lives involve. How we ended up in the same place at the same time. There were numerous moments/conversations that I had while on my trip that I wish I could relive over and over in my head. They’re moments that I pull up in my mind when I need to be reminded why I work hard at my job and save up my vacation time to use in large chunks. I do it so I can escape not just from my cube and all the stress and monotony of my daily work, but to escape everything that is comfortable to me, to talk to people, to ask questions, to sit and just listen to someone else’s life experiences, to understand how they experience their lives.

One of my biggest concerns before my trip had nothing to do with the fact that I was traveling alone, or that I was going somewhere unfamiliar. After twice choosing to attend out of state colleges in locations where I didn’t know a single soul to get both of my degrees, going somewhere new and alone wasn’t out of the ordinary. My biggest concern was regarding my nationality. I had always heard (and to be honest, assumed) that Americans have a pretty terrible international reputation. The stereotypes of ignorant American tourists have to come from somewhere, and I didn’t want to fall into that trap. However, I’m not one to rely on stereotypes as a main source of information about some topic or another, so I took the opportunity to ask people what they thought of Americans/the US when the opportunity arose.

The first chance I had to ask someone about this was on my flight from San Francisco to Auckland. I sat next to this incredibly friendly girl who was returning home to New Zealand after being gone for 11 months, traveling and volunteering her way across the globe. My guess is that she was around my age, and had seen and experienced so much in her time abroad. We began to talk as we filled out our papers to go through customs, and I’m very glad we did. I had asked her what had brought her to the States in the first place, and I got much more than I expected in her response. She told me all about her travels, how she started out going to Cambodia to volunteer for 3 months, met and befriended a Canadian girl, who she then travelled with to Thailand and Nepal, then started making her way to the US to attend a wedding in South Carolina. It was her first trip to the US, and I apologized for South Carolina being the first thing she experienced. I asked her what she thought of the people, and I learned a lot from her response. She said that more than one person told her they didn’t know that New Zealand was even a country. She was asked if New Zealand was one of the “states” of Australia. She was asked if there was a bridge connecting Australia and New Zealand (a bridge, she noted, that would span over 400 miles of the most treacherous ocean waters on the planet). Worst of all, she said that she hadn’t realized how many Americans lived inside of their own bubble, and she was surprised so many people were so ignorant of what was happening in the world beyond the US borders.  I can’t argue with her. For example, comedian John Oliver regularly enjoys playing a geography game on his show, Last Week Tonight, when he discusses South American countries. He’ll mention a country, such as Paraguay, and highlight it on a map. Except he intentionally has the incorrect country highlighted, and jumps around before landing on the correct country. Most people I talk to that watch this show usually don’t know that these countries even exist before John Oliver discusses them. How are we supposed to know what’s going on in the world, if most people don’t even know that Togo is an actual country in Africa? For the first time on my trip, and certainly not the last, I felt embarrassed for all of those ignorant people this poor girl had the misfortune of running into. I was only able to talk to this girl for about fifteen minutes or so before we both got off the plane and went our separate ways, but it was a very eye-opening conversation.

Once I made it down to Queenstown to meet up with my tour group (I was late, thanks to some flight delays in Chicago), I was picked up by a tour guide named Vanessa, and driven 3 hours up the New Zealand countryside to be dropped off at a hotel.  Later on, during the last night of my trip, we were each asked to discuss our favorite part of the trip. Looking back now, I’m pretty sure that my ride with Vanessa was my favorite part. For about an hour, we made polite small talk. She asked about my story, why I was late, and I told her. I told her where I was from and how long I was staying in New Zealand. Then we stopped to eat lunch, and that’s when everything changed. I was relatively jet-lagged, since I had just spent the previous 14 hours or so on planes, so I had no filter. As I sat eating a lunch that Vanessa was kind enough to buy me, I straight up asked her what her perception and opinions of Americans as a whole were. It turns out that her stepmother was from Seattle, and Vanessa’s opinion of Americans was largely based on her experiences with her. For the rest of the ride up to my hotel, we discussed Americans, American politics, New Zealand politics, and general global issues. I remarked on how clean New Zealand was, and how friendly people seemed to be. She told me, without hesitation, her stances on various issues and her honest opinion of the US and its citizens and her plans to come and travel across the country and see it for herself. By the time she dropped me off, I was exhausted and delirious and desperately in need of a shower, but I also felt like I had just met and made a new best friend. Apparently Vanessa enjoyed my company as well, since she gave me both her cell phone number and her family’s phone number, since they lived on the north island and would be able to help me should I run into trouble after striking out on my own. To this day, I’m still a little sad that Vanessa wasn’t one of my actual tour guides for the rest of the week, even though the two I had were fantastic.

I could go on and on about the people I was able to talk with during my trip. There was Ken, the native Minnesotan living and working in Singapore, always good for stories about what it’s like to be living somewhere so different than the place you grew up. There was Dave from California, another young person traveling alone like me with very interesting world views. There was the newlywed couple from Washington State, always willing to refill my water bottle or share bug spray or tell story after story after story. There was Paul, the successful businessman from England, who always had a fun joke or story to tell, but who would also talk politics with you until there was nothing left to say. There were the tour guides themselves, full of stories about life in New Zealand and working in Australia or on cattle farms, or attending university. There was the gentleman I spoke with while waiting in San Francisco for our flight to Auckland to board, who was full of helpful advice and information. There was the grandmother who was next to me in the gate as I waited to return to the States, excited to visit friends and family in Florida. I feel incredibly lucky and grateful to have had the opportunity to meet each and every individual mentioned here, and more that I didn’t. I learned so much about them, and myself, and received many reminders to stop and try to view things through someone else’s eyes. I was reminded to not worrying about telling my own stories, but to listen to other people’s stories. It’s something that I am still working to do.

Tampon Discourse!

Yes, I am writing about tampons, again.  In my defense, there were THREE tampon-related articles in The Atlantic this past week and I couldn't let that pass without a blog post.  The articles covered a lot of ground and are worth a read, but themes surrounding menstruation's negative associations stood out.  Here are a few highlights:

The Tampon: A History-- The cultural, political, and technological roots of a fraught piece of cotton by Ashley Fetters (June 1, 2015)

Millions of people use tampons (and other feminine hygiene products) on a daily basis, but we rarely talk about them.  Shrouded in mystery, tampons are

"common enough to be sold in drugstores and public restrooms all over America, integral enough to the female experience to merit its own memorable jeremiad in The Vagina Monologues . . . and yet still taboo enough to be the central prop in one of the only Fifty Shades of Grey sex scenes deemed too risque for the movie adaptation."  

Tampon-like items going back a few hundred years, but the tampon as we know it today originated  around World War II.  There were misgivings from the start.

"'For many people, there was a lot of discomfort with the idea of women touching themselves in any way in their vaginal or labia area, especially young girls,' says Sharra Vostral, the author of Under Wraps: A History of Menstrual Hygiene Technology. 'A lot of people argued that [tampon use] was not only inappropriate because it might break the hymen, but it might be also pleasurable and might be a way for girls to experience orgasmic pleasure.'  Tampax's telescoping applicator made it possible to insert a tampon without the dreaded self-touching-- though it didn't do much to assuage fears of accidental virginity loss, which, despite evidence that the hymen doesn't necessarily break as a result of sex or tampon use, still persist in some parts of the world today." 

In addition, tampon-like approaches were associated with "women with active lifestyles (like dancers) and . . . women in 'dubious professions' of the era like acting, modeling, prostitution-- and sports."

Despite these misgivings, tampons grew increasingly popular, but the product marketing always emphasized how "the products are feminine and diminutive, of medical origins, or allow women a 'little white lie' that conceals menstruation."  There were also cultural differences in adoption, with Europeans embracing tampons without applicators, while US customers found that approach too unhygienic.

By the 1970s, "a small feminist movement had begun to publicly question why women should feel pressured to hide or staunch their menstruation in the first place.  What was so shocking or gross or shameful, after all, about something that happened to half the world's adult population every month?"  Their perspective didn't take off however . . .

Don't Let Them See Your Tampons: What's behind the urge to keep feminine products hidden? by Julie Beck (June 1, 2015)

Even today, tampon discretion is essential and women have hundreds of ways smuggle their feminine hygiene products to the restroom.  Disgust and division persist:

"Many religions have historically dubbed menstruating women 'unclean' and secular shame abounds as well. . . Menstrual etiquette requires that women hide the fact of their periods . . . In one study, people had worse impressions of a woman who dropped a tampon [unopened] out of her bag than if she dropped something innocuous like a hair clip, and even avoided sitting near her."

There is some hope for acceptance, but not any time soon:

"Efforts to destigmatize menstruation are becoming mainstream . . . But taboos don't change that quickly.  If there's a chance open-carrying a tampon in public will only get some disrespect, maybe she'll think it's better to keep it up her sleeve-- literally."

After both articles were published, there were enough comments that the editor compiled the discussion into a follow-up piece The Tampon Taboo: Your Thoughts.  While many of the comments covered predictable territory, the discussion is heartening.  I now have the Under Wraps: A History of Menstrual Hygiene Technology book on my Kindle wish list.  Maybe more people do too!

On Display. Existing While Female

I suppose this is sort of a follow up to my last post on Zumba.  I stumbled across a series of videos by Petra Collins (for BB Dakota) called Making Space.  They are basically the kind of short film I tried to make in college, except much better.

I'm not sure that I love Collins' work completely, or if I am just saying that because I'm super jealous of her for being so successful and so young, but I found the series of videos fascinating.  They invite me to reflect on the female body and how to find freedom in it.

The series focuses on high school girls in the south who, in their own ways, are all involved with dance.  As we watch the girls dance and smile and move in front of the camera, we listen to their thoughts on their art, their bodies, their relationships with other girls, and their thoughts on the future. 

I was especially drawn to the first part of the series.  The girls are beautiful, and they remind us that wisdom comes from all ages.  "How can somebody who likes me, make me feel so bad?" one girl questions.  Yes, why do we teach our girls to accept any male attention as something they should accept and appreciate?  Why do we teach them to love abuse?



The images are simultaneously real and yet also dreamy as we often watch the girls dance and move in slow motion, while listening to their open, honest voices.  It invites us to watch their bodies, but in a way that invites appreciation (rather than appraisal) and also teases out the girls' strength and their lack of shame or apology for their bodies being visible.  We get to witness the infinite possibilities of movement from an infinite number of body shapes and sizes.  This feels liberating and new to me.

Guilt, Fear, and Resolve

Last month, I wrote about my transformation to the liberation perspective after viewing several panel discussions presented at the All About Women Festival 2015.  Since then, I've been stewing on another major theme from the event: how the patriarchal system does not allow women an equal voice in our society.  For a long time, when I thought about the public discourse, I joined a lot of people in thinking, how bad could it be? Or, sticks-and-stones . . . just ignore it. Or, they have chosen to be in the public eye, they must be okay with it.

But then I watched "What I Couldn't Say," where female panelists shared very personal accounts of how their voices were silenced when they spoke up about injustice.  I also watched Stop the trolls: Women fight online harassment, and again saw the personal toll suffered by women who dare to exist.

After seeing these accounts, I have not been able to shake a profound sense of guilt that I didn't understand their experience; that I assumed they were okay with it; that they persevere in silence without the support they need; that I might benefit from their struggle without supporting them in return; that my inaction perpetuates their suffering.

I have also grown more fearful about contributing to the public discourse.  What would we do if the trolls find this blog?  If the online mob attacks us with single minded focus?  If they threaten and our families unceasingly?

Nevertheless, since the harassment demonstrates the profound injustices resulting from a patriarchal system, these accounts have also given me a stronger sense of resolve.  If I am privileged enough to have a voice to be attacked, only imagine the lives of those who do not.  I am only more committed to bringing about the liberation.  I will support groups that fight for change and I will engage those think otherwise.

Liberating Myself through Zumba

In the fall, I did something I had never done before.  I started taking Zumba classes at the gym.  Being in situations where I don't know the proper code of conduct and etiquette REALLY stressed me out.  And I'm also an introvert.  And I'm also extremely self-conscious of not being good at things.

But I started going to Zumba anyway because it was something that looked fun, and I am trying to do more things that challenge me and overcome all those petty fears and self-doubt.  I discovered that I really LOVE Zumba!

I don't love Zumba because I really good at it.  I'm not.  There any many people that are better at it than I am.  But being in Zumba classes with different women, the same women, and the random male who occasionally shows up has helped me form a new frame of mind towards my body and the bodies of other women.  Here are some things Zumba has shown me and helped me experience:

An Insight Into the 21st Century Man: Feminist and Sexist

A online study of 818 men was published recently, entitled: The Shriver Report Snapshot: An Insight Into the Modern American Man.  The survey reports to be representative of the adult male population and explores potentially controversial and sensitive topics such as attitudes about gender and sex. Interestingly some answers are very supportive of female advancement, while others seem to point out the need for increased gender equality. 

Generational Differences: Now vs. Then

For example, 45% of men said it was harder to be a man now than in his father's generation. Why?

... men are most likely to say this is due to women attaining a stronger position in the workplace, a stronger position financially, and greater gender equality. These men also cite negative assumptions about men, a more competitive job market, greater household responsibilities for men, and greater expectations for men in society today. The following are a number of verbatim responses from survey respondents:

“In my dad’s day, women stayed home and the men worked. Now, both men and women work in the same area as men do, so it’s hard for us to be men.” 

“With the blending of the gender roles and the fact that society is not dependent upon physical labor as much as it used to be, the traditional roles that men play have been dismissed.” 

“If you stand up as a man, it is taken as putting females down. No more ‘Man of the House.’” 

“Each generation has its challenges. In the past, it was men conforming to rigid role expectations. In our generation, a man has more challenges finding his own way."

Interestingly, men who say it is easier to live in this generation (20%) cite the same reasons of gender and social changes.

Gender roles in the workplace

Wonderfully, most of the men expressed comfort with the empowerment of women in the workplace. But while feeling comfortable and able to work around female bosses...

56% of men agree that, generally speaking, men are more concerned about making good impressions and earning the respect of other men than earning the respect of women.

... which to me indicates that the opinion of a women is not as important as that of a man.

Men are also very comfortable with their partner working outside the home and most were at least "somewhat" comfortable working for a woman.  However, less than half were at least "somewhat" comfortable staying home to take care of the children.  Thus, if women are working outside the home more often, who is expected to bear the responsibility for raising the children?  A possible answer:

34% say that they take on a greater share of the household responsibilities than their wife or female partner does.
And among those who have children at home, 24% say that they take on a greater share of parenting responsibilities than their wife or female partner does.

Unfortunately, the survey did not ask about relationships where men and women had equal division of labor.  Additionally, a vast majority of men reported feeling comfortable with a female president of the United States

Admirable qualities in a wife vs. a daughter
 As a great positive, intelligence was rated highly as desirable qualities in both a wife and daughter. Men also hoped for an attractive wife while an attractive daughter was not as highly prized.  However, the men reported hoping for independence in a daughter far more often than having independence in their partner.  A similar pattern appeared for the quality of strength.  Wonderfully, homemaker and deferential were far at the bottom of the list for both wife and daughter.

The 21st Century Individual

This short study provides some very interesting information.  Of course not all studies are representative of all populations and individuals, but they can point out overall trends.  In my opinion, the women's movement has made great advances, but still has areas of work.  Superbly, men are supportive of women in the workplace and even as the president of the United States.  However, while men are supportive of their spouses working outside the home, there is less of an equal redistribution of household labor.  This may indicate that women are becoming responsible both for their job and the household.  Additionally, independence and strength were not valuable in a spouse as other qualities such as attractiveness and sweetness.  Finally, women are seen as having a negative overall impact on the career success of men and their opinion is not as valuable as that of a man's. Thus while men are much more supportive of female professional empowerment, continued underlying biases may limit the true potential of the 21st Century Woman.

To read more about the study's conclusions and access the survey and data: click here.

 

DGAF & other tips to succeed

Why Are We Waiting So Long To Not GAF?

Article 1 By Jaya Saxena

A few weeks ago, I read this spectacular article entitled: Why are we waiting so long to not GAF? In the article, Ms. Saxena is thinking about some ugly shoes that are super comfortable and wondering when she will be of an age where wearing ugly shoes is free from worry about appearance etc.  But then she questions: why are we even waiting at all?

But on the other, so many young women (and I assume men) see their DGAF years as a future goal, as if there's a magical age where we'll be able to let go and stop caring and find that contentment (usually it's placed somewhere around 40). We're tapping into DGAF culture with the caftans and the "mom jeans" and the ugly sandals, which have typically been the sartorial choices of older women, but we won't allow ourselves the lifestyle yet.

I'm also all for self-care and meditation and leaning out and you doing you. But there's this idea that it has to start later, at some intangible date when the grind is done, and that's just not the case. I think everyone knows there's no such thing as that "elusive internal utopia," no matter how much you've lived and learned and gotten over it.
I want to just not give a fuck now, if utopia is never coming. Not in like an "abandon all responsibilities" way, but where I can wear ugly shoes and comfy jeans and only do makeup sometimes and not have it be a result of a lifetime of trying. We already know that's the lesson, so let's learn it now.

I love this article.  While Ms. Saxena's thought process revolves around ugly shoes, I think what she is saying has larger implications.  She even tagged the article as "leaning-out."

IDGAF & Feminism

All this reminds me of Morghan's last post. "Feminist" seems to be a dirty word.  Someone I know recently explained their reasoning for not using the word feminist and clarified:

This post was more directed towards the extremists who think they don't have equal rights here, tell me I'm oppressed, or believe that in order for gender equality to happen, women need to be the superior being. In a sense, yes I am for gender equality, but I'm also for formal equality where all people should be treated like equals... I don't fight for gender equality in the United States because I believe that we already have gender equality.

Feminists are those crazy bra-burning women who hate men.  The obvious feminist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie writes that she ended up trying to call herself a Happy African Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men And Who Likes To Wear Lip Gloss And High Heels For Herself And Not For Men. Adichie gives a definition of feminist [a person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes] which to me sounds very similar to the ideas my anonymous poster wrote above.

What both Adichie and Morghan in her last post seem to have done is decided to not GAF. Adichie supports equality of the sexes [aka is a feminist] and is very clear about that. She has a great book modified from a TED talk entitled We should all be feminists where she examines problems and solutions from both gender angles. Pretty extreme.  On the other hand, Morghan seems to be fed up with all these semantics and microagressions where playing nice really gets you nowhere. She questions, "Why should I strive to claw tiny bits of respect from an oppressive system when I can build my own environment that meets my needs and goals?" Why not say IDGAF about what you think... lets do me... lets build a supportive environment for myself and the people I work with?

If doing what is best for you [wearing ugly shoes/working outside the patriarchy] is radical and extreme ... then hey, we should all be radical/extreme feminists.

IDGAF & Success
But maybe there is a chance that being radical and not GAF about the normal, unfair way of doing things is detrimental to your success.  Maybe "doing you" and  "building a supportive environment for myself and the people I work with" is the wrong way to go.  So lets check out some interviews of "34 of NYCs Most Powerful Women" and see what their Tips for Becoming Boss are.

1) Focus on yourself and your passions:

Heather Marie, Founder & CEO, Shoppable
"Create your own 'luck.' By working hard, you will create opportunities and prepare yourself to take advantage of them when they cross your path. That's the truth about luck: We can all be 'lucky.'"

Kahlana Barfield, Editor-At-Large, InStyle Magazine
"Set goals for yourself. Write them down and give yourself deadlines so you have something to work for. And, don't compare yourself to people. Play up your own strengths and be your own competition."

Whitney Tingle & Danielle DuBoise, Founders, Sakara Life
Danielle DuBoise: "Remember that there are no rules whatsoever. Every rule that was ever made was made by someone, so it can be remade and reimagined. And, act from a place of love, always."

2) Find mentors and build community

Stephanie Abrams & Courtney Spritzer, Cofounders and Co-CEOs, Socialfly
"When starting a business, remember that you will not know all of the answers. You have to be willing to ask for help when you are not sure what to do. Build a support system and a network of advisors. Listening and learning from others has been one of the keys to our success."

Joanna Vargas, Celebrity Facialist & Founder, Joanna Vargas Salon & Skincare Collection
"Number one: Surround yourself with the right people. I have been lucky enough to have met some amazing and inspiring women over the years. I have a very tight-knit group of friends, who are all CEOs in fashion and beauty, who I turn to for advice or just someone to vent to. It's great, because we all understand where we are in our careers. I hire women in a similar way that I choose friends — I hire women I respect and admire, who I can learn from, and who really want to learn and grow themselves.

Polly Payne, Founder, Horacio Printing; Sales Director, TripleLift
"Number one: Seek out many mentors that have your dream job and ask them as many questions as possible. Ask them about their story and how they got there. You have to be willing to admit that you need help and you that want to learn. By building relationships with the high-level executives at your office, you will get the opportunity to champion new projects. I have been privileged to have incredible mentors, some of which came in the form of incredible self-help books.

3) Work against outside influences that may limit you [aka discrimination and bias]

Claire Chambers, Founder, Journelle
"Women are programmed from an early age to be good listeners, so it took me a while to learn to appreciate feedback and go in another direction when my intuition or knowledge said something different.
"When I was starting Journelle, everyone I spoke with — vendors, investors, friends, family, and even people on the street or at a bar — had a well-intentioned opinion, and most of them were at odds with each other. Today, the most important feedback that I rely on comes from two groups — customers and employees — and I routinely tell women I mentor to listen to everything, but hear selectively."

Ambra Medda, Cofounder, Design Miami/; Cofounder & Creative Director, L'ArcoBaleno; Global Creative Director, 20/21 Design Department, Christie's
"I had the great fortune of starting my career very early. I think maybe not knowing too much, and really just relying on my instinct and collaborative spirit was what kept me so charged. The best career advice I was given was: 'Go BIG or go home.' I've been thinking big all my life and challenging what is considered normal. It makes you realize how we can be our own barrier or our own best advocate. You have to believe in yourself and trust your instinct, especially to get you through the really hard patches when things are super challenging."

Sadie Kurzban, Founder & CEO, ((305)) Fitness
“Be direct. Because I never had a ‘real’ job — I started ((305)) Fitness right out of college — I don't understand the niceties of office politics. This has really worked in my favor in building a successful business quickly; I am direct with vendors, investors, and my employees. I don't waste time asking, 'Do you maybe happen to have a contact at so and so? But, please, don't worry if you don't!" Instead I'll simply ask: 'Can I please have so and so's contact info?' The worst someone can say is no. If you don't ask, you can't get."

'We must do better'

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie writes at the end of her short book, "My own definition of a feminist is a man or a woman who says, 'Yes there's a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must to better."  I agree.  Lets stop GAF about the semantics, who thinks what, or waiting for that proverbial utopia of equality to waltz along.  Over the course of the past few posts, we have been discussing how we as individuals can make it better.  It seems now we have a few tools to work with to improve our environment and to achieve success.

Equality is Dead! Long Live the Liberation!

As a follower of the amazing Feminist Frequency site, I recently became aware of the All About Women Festival 2015 held at the Sydney Opera House (Australia) last month.  Luckily for all of us who missed it, many of the panel sessions were recorded and are available on YouTube (channel here).  While I would recommend viewing all the videos, I particularly recommend the "What I Couldn't Say" and the "How to Be a Feminist" segments.

While I cannot begin to summarize all the fascinating discussion, the discourse drastically changed my view of feminism and its goals, particularly in relation to "gender equality."

When discussing the definition and goals of "feminism," several panelists in the How to Be a Feminist discussion pushed back against the idea of gender equality as the primary or ultimate goal of their movement.

First, several of the women argued that equality is a slippery term.  Equal to what or whom?  Affluent white males?  Is that really the best objective?  The more I thought about it, the more I agreed.